Hope

Over the past few months, I have spent a good number of nights staying up late working on projects, writing papers, and studying for exams. On many of these nights, I would get stressed out or worked up over the amount of work I had to get done. I would just reach a point where I didn't want to be doing school work anymore. It was nothing but frustrating for me in those moments. During those nights, I had a constant recurring thought. I would think about Bree and about being married to her, and my stress would go away. I would say to myself, "I'm going to be married to Bree in a few months, and this school work isn't going to matter anymore." I would spend a few minutes looking forward to being married before resuming my work. I thought it was all good. I was just excited about being married, and there was nothing wrong with that, right?

Wrong.

A few days ago, I was studying for one of my finals when that same thought came into my head. Instead of it being a refreshment as it had been in the past, I felt really convicted about feeling the way I did. And this is why: I was putting a lot of my hope in Bree and in our marriage. In times of stress and anxiety, I was looking forward to being married to Bree instead of looking to the Father. By putting that hope in my marriage, by allowing it to be the thing that got me through the stress, I was setting myself up for destruction. I was building on the sand instead of the Rock that is Jesus Christ (Matthew 7:24-27).

Now, I'm not saying that it's a bad thing for me to look forward to my marriage. I would be a lunatic to not be excited about marrying Bree. My problem is that I am putting hope in something other than Jesus. 1 Peter 1:13 says, "Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming." Boom. Hope in the coming of Jesus. Plain and simple. During those times of stressful study, I shouldn't be looking forward to my marriage as the endpoint of that stress. I should be looking forward to the return of Jesus!!

Nothing in this life is guaranteed. My marriage is not a given. Bree could die before then. I could give in to a temptation and cheat on her and she could call off the wedding. Any number of things could happen that would resort in the wedding not happening. And then what? If I have all this hope stored up in this marriage and then it doesn't happen, I'll crumble. It's the same with anything else we put our hope in that isn't Jesus. If it's your job, you could get fired. If it's your abilities, you could end up paralyzed or brain-dead in an accident. If it's your possessions, you could lose it all in a house fire. Thinking about these things is unpleasant, but it's sobering. The only thing that is promised to be constant is Jesus. He is the only thing we have that is stable. In Him, we can store up our hope without fear of being let down or disappointed.

My hope CANNOT lie in my marriage.

It CANNOT lie in Bree.

It MUST rest in the Rock, our Savior, Jesus Christ.